Friday, September 27, 2024

It was a cock.

It was a cock. No, it was more than that.  It was a beautiful cock. At the moment it was hard as a rock,  I thought it was so hard a cat couldn't scratch it.  It was about a foot in front of my face.  There was a hand, my hand holding it at it's base. I was caressing it with my other hand. It felt wonderful to hold.  There was no hair at it's base. He had trimmed the bushes to make the tree look taller.  It looked like a lone Pine, so tall and erect. 

He said, "Well?"

I looked up at his face and smiled. I gave it a little kiss on the tip, leaving some of my lipstick on it's tip. I noticed that my finger nails were painted the same color as my lipstick.  I leaned forward and gave the tip a little lick.  I looked up at him again, he was smiling.

Wait. I can't tell this story from the middle. I have to start at the beginning.

It was New Years Eve.  I dressed up. I fixed my hair, that I had been growing for a few years.  I put some curlers in it to give it some body. I looked really nice, I thought. I'd been practicing putting on makeup and felt that I had mastered that. I had on a pretty bra, holding my breast forms, (that were very realistic), matching panties, panty hose, I had on a baby blue sequined dress that was pretty short that I had picked up at a thrift store for prom dresses.  I had some cute 3 inch heels. and a purse. Strawberry scented perfume.  I had gone to a motel in town that was having the best New Years Party in town. ( at least that was how it was advertised), I had made reservations back before Christmas. I took an Uber there as I didn't really know how the night was going to turn out. There was  a lot of people there when I got there. There were a lot of couples and I was starting to feel a little out of place. I thought I was going to find some place out of the way, when I noticed that they had set it up with place cards.  I was thinking what the hell am I going to do.  I went to the bar and got a Gin and tonic, I asked for extra olives and sat down. I looked around trying to see if there was anyone there that I knew, hoping that I wouldn't see anyone.  They were having appetizers on a table and was in line to get something to munch on, when I heard a voice that was familiar to me. I didn't know if I should turn around, then I heard my name.

"Jordan, is that you?" the voice said., Then I felt the tapping on my shoulder. 

"Shit." I thought. I turned to see Michael, who was a very good friend from college that I used to hang out with a lot. We had both graduated and had more or less moved on and fell out of touch with each other. 

"Hi," I said.

"Hi. I didn't think that this was a costume party?"  He says eyeing me up and down. " You do look really good though.  You look better than those two times you went as a girl on Halloween when we were in college."

" Yes, those were wild times." I said.

"You, Remember when we went to that one bar, they weren't going to let you be in the contest because they thought that you weren't even in costume, they thought you were a real girl?"

" Or that bar that wouldn't let me in because they had a ban on drag queens.  And you convinced them that I was your girl friend."

" Yeah, We even made out for a bit to convince them. That was wild." He says, "I will never forget that night."  

He says, "You've changed a bit  . How ya doing?  What you been up to?  Where You working?"  Where you living now?" 

I was shocked.  He seemed to pick up and not be bothered by me in a dress, though he has seen me in a dress a few times before. (And now dressed as a girl that was trying to be as sexy as he/she could be).   At least he didn't make any comments about it.  But in my surprise it dropped my defenses and just started to ask him questions.  

"What are you doing in town?  How long have you been here?  How long you going to be in town?"

The we both just broke out laughing. 

"Oh, it's so good to see you again."  I said. We gave each other a hug.

"And you. Are you here with anybody? He asks. 

"No. Just came here by myself.  Thought that I might meet some one and welcome in the New years with them.  You?" I asked.

"Nope. All by my self too. Say, do you want to sit together? We could visit some more, catch up. Pretend we were out on a date. " He says.

"Sure, But I'm not for sure if that is okay. They have every one in assigned seats.  I'm at table..."looking in my purse for my ticket. "table 16."

He looks at his ticket that he takes out of his jacket pocket, smiling, he says "table 16 too."

" Great." I say, "It's over there," pointing to a table that was off to the side.

" I'll follow you" He says.

We get to the table and sit down.  He stands behind me and helps me with the chair, then moves the  chair beside me and sits.  It's kind on crowded and our legs end up brushing up against each other, when ever any one walks by. 

A waitress comes by and I ask for another gin and tonic. He tells the waitress that he'll have what she is having.  Pointing at me.  This makes me smile. 

He tells me that he had to move back here to help his parents. They have been having problems and are now at that point that they are having to move into an assisted living apartment. They just moved in this past week, but he will stay for a while till they get settled and then he'll move back to Minneapolis. There he works for a computer company and is working from home most of the time.

Then he asks me, "So when did this happen?" waving his hand over me like Vanna was pointing to a letter. Then he adds, "You really do look nice.  Do you live your life like this beautiful girl that you look like.  Are you happy?" Do you catch a lot of crap from people? What are you doing, and I guess the big question is Why?

"Well." I start." It's kind on complicated."

He starts laughing. " That seems to be the understatement of the year."

"Okay. So let's start. I finished in Psych and the changed to the college of nursing, got my degree and now I work as a surgical recovery nurse. That's what I do."  "This" waving my hands at myself, " is a hobby sometimes and other times an obsession that won't go away.  I can't seem to stop and most of the time I don't want to stop."  I pause for a moment. "tonight was not a first, but yet it is a first."

He's looking at me in a questioning way.

"Okay. It's not the first time that I have gone out dressed up as a girl.  Oh by the way I've been crossdressing for years. Probably since I was  10 or12.  I love doing it.  It is the only time that I feel at peace and relaxed with myself.  So it's not the first time going out as a girl. I've gone to the grocery store, gotten gas. I try to dress for any party that is on Halloween, but a lot of the time I end up working. That kind of stuff.  Tonight is my first time out dressed as a girl in a pretty dress in a crowd.  It is also my first time talking to someone that knows me while I'm dressed.  The boy me, while I'm dressed as a girl."  Don't hate me please."

"Oh god no.  I could never hate you.  We've had too many good times together.  Well, first things first. You do look beautiful.  And since this is your first formal night out as a beautiful girl, How can I make this the perfect evening for you?"

I looked at him. He was quite handsome. He made me smile. He was wearing a black tuxedo and looked like he could give some hints to Danial Gregg. 

We clinked our glasses and said, "Happy New Year.  The Waitress came by and we ordered another gin and tonic. Then he ordered 2 shots of tequila.  He looked at me and winked asking, " Do you remember that night we got caught skinny dipping in the motel pool."

I started laughing, " Yes and it all started with us doing shots of tequila.  I'm not going skinny dipping with you tonight."

He looks at me smiling," Well maybe on our second date?" 

He then told me that he had been engaged and that she broke it off, saying that he seemed like being a recluse at times. Always wanting to stay at home and not go out partying.  He had thought that they would just spend more time together, but she wanted to be with her friends.  She called it off one night when 2 of her male friends came to pick her up and he thought it was a little odd, especially since as they were leaving they were all over her. 

We talked about our work and how that was going and then the band started to play.  We both sat and couldn't talk unless we were talking into each others ear.  Then the band played some music that brought back some memories from when they were in college.  Then looking at each other, he asked me to dance.  I got up and we made our way to the dance floor. It was crowded and we finally found a spot.  Most of the music was rock a roll and was fun to dance to. I was glad that I had been practicing dancing in heels at home so I didn't make a fool of myself.  We had danced about 3-4 songs together, when they started to play a slow song.  I started to walk back to out table when he caught my hand and asked if I would dance with him.  I looked at him and smiled and walked over to him.  I did have my 3 inch heels on but, it made my height to where I could look him straight in the eyes.  He took my hand and then wrapped his other hand around my waist.  At first I was a little hesitant, but the gin and now a little tequila made it to where I didn't care. I moved to where I was leaning against him.  He looked so nice and I love the smell of his aftershave, or whatever he was wearing.  His hand was on my lower back just above my butt.  I Leaned back from him little and whispered, "You're not going to grab my ass in here are you?" 

He pulled me close, and whispered, "Nope, not in here, but maybe some where else," 

I smiled at him and stepped in close to him. The band kept playing some slow songs as it seemed that there were a lot more people dance together. 

I didn't realize how much we had been drinking and how drunk I had suddenly felt. I had turned my head and was gently kissing his neck taken in by the smell of his cologne.  The alcohol was doing something to him as well as I felt him getting erect and it pressing against my stomach, which I also got turned on by and started to rub myself against him. He gently pulled himself away from me a few inches and gave me a smile, saying. "You are a naughty girl." 

I winked at him and said, "Oh you haven't seen anything yet."  I looked down at his crotch for a second, "Do you want to go and sit down?" 

"Yes," he said, "But I can't really walk back to our table with this flagpole sticking out in front of me."

I looked down at his crotch to take a quick peek, "Wow," I started to giggle, then he started to laugh. Then a few of the people standing around us started to laugh.  I'm pretty sure that they didn't know what we were laughing about. At least I hope not. Well the laughing made his erection go away and we were able to get back to out table. There was only one chair left at our table. He offered the chair to me and I took it, but I felt so awkward sitting there, while he was standing behind me and we trying to talk.  Then I offered to share the chair and for a few minutes we each had a cheek of out ass on the chair.  Then a couple at a table next to us told us that I should just sit on his lap as they were doing.  I looked at him and he just shrugged, "Sure."  I stood up and he slid over and the I sat on his lap. I ended up putting my arm around his neck to hold myself in place and he put his arm around my waist to hold me.  Then It was  weird, as I really felt that this was okay, that this was how this could be or should be and it was alright. 

Our table started to tell each other dirty jokes, and we were laughing.  Time seemed to have gone by  pretty quickly as some one yelled that it was going to be the New Year in 5 minutes.   The waitress came with a couple of bottles of champagne, and a tray of glasses.  We got every bodies glasses filled and the the countdown started.  10, 9, 8 7, ....1. Happy New Years.  We looked all around us and everyone was kissing someone, so we joined them and kissed each other.  It was my first time I kissed a guy as a girl and I felt I was going to melt in his arms.  I felt like I had gotten injected with some meth or something.  We kissed for a long time. ( at least it felt like forever,,, I didn't want it to stop). We stopped briefly and then started to kiss again, I love the taste of his tongue in my mouth.  He was holding me tight. I had my arms around him, not wanting to let go of him.  I felt like I was melting into him.  Some one tapped us on our shoulder and said."You guys need to go get a room or go home. We're closing now." 

We looked at each other and smiled and said almost at the same time. "Where you want to go?"

He asked, "Do you have an apartment or a house close?  I have a house that is about 2 miles from here, we could take a Uber."

"Yes, That's a great idea." I had started to pull Uber up on my phone, and He looked at me and said. "I had arranged for one to pick me up at 1:00 after the party was over. That way all I had to do was be in the front of the motel at 1:00, which is in about 5 minutes. Do you have a coat or do you have to get a purse?" 

"Yes, I do. Lets go to the coat check room and get our things.  God am I wasted.  I hope you take care of me." Then I winked at him and gave him a sly smile. 

He replied, " I hope so too. In any way that I can." He smiles and winked back at me.

I got my coat and my clutch that I was using for a purse. He got his coat. We started walking down the aisle heading to the front, our hands bumped and he took my hand and we held hands while we walked. 

We got to the front and there was a car waiting. Michael said he thought that it was our ride. He walked over and the driver rolled down the window and asked if Michael was ready. He said," Yes but there was going to be another rider and not just him. Would that be a problem?" The driver, looked at me and told Michael that it looks like he got lucky.  He smiled and said yes. 

He opened the back door and I got he and he slid in behind me. We buckled in and the driver took off.  I leaned my head against Michael's shoulder.  I put my hand on his knee.  He took my hand. When he did that it shifted my elbow somewhat and now my elbow was resting on his semi-erect dick. We were talking and he seemed to use his hands to talk and my elbow being were it was was noticing that it was getting bigger again.  I smiled.

We got to his place and and he opened that door and I walked in.  He had a beautiful house.  He started to explain that He had inherited it from his parents, That he had only moved in a couple of weeks ago and was still toying with the idea of doing some changes and live here or just leave it as it is and move back to his other apartment in the city.  I looked around. He had a huge big screen TV.  Saw a couple of  game boxes and a few different controllers.  I saw a small clear plastic bottle with something that looked like some green herbs. I picked it up, looked at it. He saw me and said, "It's legal in this state now. You can have more than that in you possession."

I smiled at him, " Do you still get high? God it has been so long for me.  I wish I could, but hospitals still do random urine checks and even though it is legal, they can still say so long to you if you test positive.  It sucks."

He asked, " Do you want another gin and tonic or something else to drink?" 

"Yes, I'll take another one.  You the bartender now?"

"Yes and the entertainment." He had taken off his tux jacket and then his bow tie. and threw them on a chair. He went into the kitchen and in a couple of minutes came back with drinks. He sat next to me and held up his glass and said, " A toast to the New Year and all the things that come into a new year."  We clinked our glasses and had a sip.  I leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips.  He smiled.  " Do you want to play a game?

"What kind of game are you thinking of?"

"Oh, Mario cart. Zelda."

I smiled at him," Okay, Mario cart. But we have to have a real prize for the winner."

"Okay the best of seven gets a big prize."

"Okay and each winning race gets a smaller prize, like truth or drink. I'll get the tequila for that? If you can't tell the truth you have to do a shot. That sound okay?'

"Yeah, I'm game. Let me find the game and get it started." He got up and walked over to the game box and turned it and the TV on."  He sat back down and said, "Since you are the guest, you can pick the course." 

We had to pick our Avatars. I picked Princess Peach, and he picked Mario. I found a course that I thought or hoped would be easy.

It didn't take long for him to beat me, though He didn't win by as much as I thought he would. 

I looked at him wondering what he was going to ask me.  I could tell that he was thinking.

Then he leaned back in the couch.  Looked at me and asked, "Do you like being the girl?"

I was somewhat taken aback.  I looked at him wondering how to answer.  I almost reached for the tequila, then pausing, said, " It's a long answer,  and may take a few minutes."

"Okay, I'll listen."

"I really like dressing up as a girl. I feel like my real self when I do. I have thoughts of transitioning, But I'm sort afraid of that in a way.  It's  admitting to every one that I know that they haven't known me the whole time that they have known me.  I've been trying to wear a dress since I was 10.  I had a whole wardrobe by the time I was 16.  I hated high school. In a small town you weren't anyone unless you played sports,  I got urged to play soccer and basket ball and I ran in track. I still run as that helps me stay in shape and I don't gain weight, so I can fit into some nice dresses once in a while.  This is the nicest dress I have."

"And you look absolutely beautiful in it."

 I blushed and said "Thank you. Compliments will get you everywhere."

"That was a good answer.  So another game ?"

" Sure." I said, "Do I still get to pick the course?"

" Yes, since you are still the guest."

I went through the courses and found one that I remembered pretty well, chose it. We started the race. We were pretty close most of the time He was ahead, then me, and it went back and forth like that for most of the course. At then end I pulled out ahead of him and I took the winners flag.

I looked at him and said, "So question or shot?"

He looked at me then said, "You have to ask the question first."

" Yes, I forgot.  So when we were making out, did you forget that I am a guy dressed as a girl and was just caught up in the passion of the moment? Or did you want to kiss me, still knowing I was a guy in a pretty dress?"

He sort of smirked and said." Oh that is a tough question," He thought for awhile, then said," Maybe I should take the shot."

I laughed at him, "Chicken."

"Okay, Okay, I'll answer. But it may be a long answer." He paused. "Okay, I knew that you were a guy dressed as a girl. But you looked so, beautiful that my brain seemed to disconnect with the fact that you were a good friend. A good male friend. I thought I was connecting with the girl that I was with and it didn't seem to make a difference that you are a guy in a dress, I was enjoying being with the girl that I was with."  He paused for a while.  "I was kissing my new girlfriend Jordon, and not my old friend Jordon."

I smiled at him," Are you thinking that I'm your new girl friend ?"

He stammered a bit." Uhmm. I meant my new friend that was a girl.  But I wouldn't mind calling you my girl friend. But it is kind of early to start that.  Hell we haven't even been o a date yet."

" You wouldn't mind having me for a girl friend? " I said." You know this could get real complicated.  And what do you mean that we haven't been on a date yet.  Hell, we ate dinner together, we danced fast and slow dances, we kissed at midnight.  Hell. If I was a cis girl I think I would have expected you to propose to me after a night like what we had.  I'm still surprised that we haven't ended up in bed with each other. But I don't fuck on the first date."

He laughs," Ya don't, hell that ruins my plans." He keeps on laughing.  " I'm trying to be a gentleman and not push you too far.  I think I wouldn't mind going out with you again.  But the night is young yet and we still have a few more races to do."

I took his hint and found another course and got us ready.  We raced and He beat me. This time he beat me pretty bad.  He looked at me and asked, "truth or drink?" 

"You have to ask me the question before I decide."

"Did you enjoy me kissing you?"

My eyes opened wide, I looked at him, "You're kidding? right?"  You couldn't tell that I enjoyed that kiss.  Hell I felt like I was melting in your arms.  Do you want to try again?  I'd like that."

He leaned over toward me and gently kissed my lips. doing it so softly and sweetly. I started to put my arm around him to be able to keep kissing him, but he stopped and pulled back.  I was almost breathless.

"How about that kiss?  Did you enjoy that one too?"

" You ass," I said, "now you are making fun of me."

"No, I'm not. I was just asking. I didn't think I was that great of a kisser." he says. 

"Oh I really do like kissing you. I feel like I'm getting a buss when I kiss you. Almost a lightheadedness. If you and I started to make out again, there's nothing that you couldn't do to me.  Maybe I shouldn't have told you that." Looking at him a little embarrassed.  "Maybe we should play another race."  

"Yeah, we should move on." he says, " Then find another course."

I found one, actually it was the course that I had won on before.  We started to race and it was just like the last time. But instead of me winning, he won.

I asked, "what is the score?" Not really thinking that I was really behind.

He says, "I think it is 3 to 1. My lead."

"Oh Shit." I said. 

He looks at me and asks, "What's the matter?  Do you turn into a pumpkin when the sun comes up?"

I look at him and say, "Well, you have 3 wins. Weren't we playing best of 5?"

He looks at me and says, "I don't care, we could do like the world series and play best of 7. You feel better that way?  Or are you giving up now?"

"No, I'll race you till you hit 4, then You get the winning prize." I said and winked at him.

" Oh. But you have to answer a question first. Or do a shot."

"Okay,  ask away."

" Do you like being a girl? Do you ever think of just changing your life and doing the change thing and keep living the life that you are in right now?"

"Oh. Wow. You ask some tough questions.  Yes, I like being a girl very much. No I love being a girl.  I have thought of going seeing a doctor and starting on hormones again."

"Wait, what did you just say? taking hormones again ?  Did you take them before and then quit?  Why did you quit?"

" I took them for about two and a half months, then I ran out.  I stopped."

"Couldn't you just get a refill?" 

" No, I couldn't. They were never prescribed to me."

"How did you get them to start taking in the first place?"

"I work in same day surgery recovery. We sometimes have to be a spillover from the ER. A lot of patients are sent to us to hold till there is a room available on the floor or sometimes till their Doc comes and tells them their lab results.  Well, once there was a women who had to be held till a room  was available. She had a DVT and a PE."

"What's that?" He asked. 

"It's blood clots that are in the calves of the legs and then end up flowing up to the heart and then her lungs, they are called Deep venous thrombosis and Pulmonary embolism.  The DVT's are bad because they can spread to the lungs and Pulmonary embolisms are bad because you can die from them."

"So how is this related to you taking estrogen?", He askes.

"Okay. so her doctor comes in to explain the test results and told her that her problems was probably a complication of her taking the estrogen.  She got upset after he left and took the pills out of her purse and gave them to me to throw away.  I put them in my pocket and was going to do that, but we got busy and I didn't remember till I was at home, changed into my girl mode. Then as I was emptying my pockets I found the bottle of pills.  I set them aside and was going to take them in with me when I went back to work Monday.  Well I forgot to take them back and they were sitting there for a week or two when I remembered.  But in the mean time I came across this blog about taking estrogen to get nice boobs.  I've always wanted to have nice boobs.  I did some reading on estrogen and thought taking it for a few weeks wouldn't hurt.  It ended up  being for ten weeks.  I could feel that it was doing something to me, I did develop some breast buds, but they didn't flower into some nice boobies.  My Skin got a little softer.  It is weird though some of the changes that happen to you."

"What other changes? He asked.

"Well they say that estrogen can change your gender, but I have heard that it can change your sexuality too."

"Change your sexuality?  How's that?" He asked.

" Well, I have always been a somewhat straight guy, maybe a little genderfluid. When I was taking the estrogen, after about a month it changed me to where all I could think about was dick. I started checking out guys crotches. It was like dick was always on my mind.   It has lessened up somewhat since I ran out of the meds, but it's still there.  I have a mild crave for dick. But it is something that I am fighting right now. and I think I'm winning that fight,  I think as time goes by it will become less."

He smiles at me and smirks, "Darn."

I smile back and wink.

"Okay let's race and get this over with." I said.

I picked out the easiest course I could find and we started racing.  I bumped into him a few times to get him to make a mistake ( I admit that that was cheating) but it didn't help me at all. I still lost.

I looked at him and he smiled. "Do you want something to eat? I know I should have asked a long time ago. But I wasn't hungry then, now I'm starved. You want some popcorn ?

"Sure, that would be great."

He gets up and goes into the kitchen. I can hear him start the microwave, and the corn is popping. I'm thinking what will he want as a prize.  Is he expecting a blow job?  I haven't ever given one. I've watch enough of them and seen lessons on the net about how to give a good one.  I think I can do that. Yes I know I can, I just have to be brave. Don't get too embarrassed.  I hope he doesn't get weirded out. 

He walks in holding a glass and the bowl of popcorn. He steps in front of me to get to the couch that we have sitting on.  When he is right in front of my I straighten my legs and trap him.  He is right in front of me, with my legs between his. He can't move in either direction. The coffee table it really closed to the couch. It is very hard to move in this area.  I reach up and put my fingers into his pants and pull him closer.

I look up at him and say, "Don't hit me,  Don't hurt me.  Don't say any thing.  I have not done this before and it's sort of embarrassing and I really want to do this" as I start to undo his belt and unbutton his tux pants. I unzip him and his pants fall to the floor. I pull his boxers down revealing his cock. He is semi- erect, but as I grasp him he gets hard quickly.  I'm still holding his cock. He is getting harder.

I say, " I lost the bet. So I'm giving you the prize you deserve."

"I deserve?  Hell. It was just a game of Mario cart." 

He says, "Did you do that on purpose?"

I looked up at him again, smiling, "Hell no. What you take me for?" I still hadn't let go of his cock.

I was pretty bussed, but I don't think I was completely out of it. But I didn't want to let go of my prize.

I leaned forward and licked him again, then took him in my mouth, putting a little suction on it. "there is that good enough?"

"What? You're kidding me right? The deal was whoever wont the best of 5 games of Mario cart. Besides we really didn't say what the bet was for. But when you started to take off my pants and playing with me I thought you were going to give me a blow job." He says, "You still look like you are going to give me one, the way that you are hanging onto it." 

"Maybe I should stop?" say, leaning back on the couch, reluctantly letting go of his cock." but I don't want to." leaning forward again more and hanging  onto his rod even more, before he can get a way.

"Well, it doesn't have to be sexual favors. We could bet on something else." he says, "I was thinking of another date.

"Really, you'd  turn down a blow job that you won fair and square?", I say.

"Yeah, especially from one of my old buddies from college."

" Ok. I can see your point. But I don't mind giving you a blow job, it's just that I don't want you to cum on my face."

"Really. What's wrong with that?", he says.

" Oh come on. what girl likes to walk around with guys load all over her face."

" You could wash it off."

"Right. I'm not very good at putting on make up, and it took me forever to get this look, and not look like a guy. If I wash some cum off my face, I'll look like a guy.  I suppose I could do it as long as you tell me when you are going to cum and you don't aim for my face."

"Really? How would you do that?"

"You're serious? How would I do that? You're kidding right?"

Looking confused he asks," How would you? You'd maybe get it ono your clothes." 

I ask, "When was the last time you had a blow job? "

He exhales slowly, seemingly sighing, "It has been a couple of years." 

I noticed that since we started our conversation, his cock has started to soften.  Mind you, he was still hard, but I think the cat could scratch him now. I tried to stroke him some, but I started to think about how we ended up in his apartment and me starting to give him a blowjob.    

" A couple of years? What's with that? You become a priest or something?" I asked.

" I just haven't been involved with anyone that I wanted to get real close to." 

" You mean that you haven't been able to get into a situation like this for a few years?". I asked. "So you want to talk about this now?" Should I stop" (not really wanting to let go.  Would I be able to get the courage up to get to this point again,)  I think I tried to make him make up his mind by taking his cock in my mouth. I started to hum the Jeopardy song in my head, but realized that I was also doing it to his cock.  I heard him give a little moan. I hope I was helping him in making up his mid.( at least in my favor).  I stopped humming and decided that I would just keep going with the blow job.  Not having had a cock in my mouth before, I was really surprised how good it tasted. Was kind of musky.  I was putting some good suction on it and started to go up and down on it.. 

Okay time to see if you can be a good girl and deep throat him.  I surprised myself. I got it to the back of my throat and had only a mild gagging. 

"uhmm.?" He says.

I look up and see he is looking a little bumfuzzled. Or maybe a guy that is about to cum, but right at that moment he is trying his damnedest not to.  I smile at him and say," Yes?"

"I'm still holding these," waving the bowl of popcorn and the drinks. " I can't continue to hold this and stand up and you keep on with what you're doing."

" Oh. Would you rather sit?" I ask.

" Can I? Would that be ok?"

Shit. I'm going to fall out of this moment and won't be able to get back in to it. "okay." I say.

I stand up and facing him give him a long wet kiss, then move to the side. Not letting go of his cock. H moves and the then sits down and puts the drinks on the table and to popcorn on the couch. I move to be in front of him.  I push the table a little to the side and now there is room for me to get on the floor between his legs. I somehow accomplished all this still holding his cock.  I kneel down and take him into my mouth for a short time.  Then I reach down and pull his pants and briefs off.  I let him keep his 0socks(it is cold outside). Then I reach down and pull his pants and briefs off.  He has to lift his butt somewhat.  I kick my self mentally that I should have done that when he was standing.  I let him keep his socks(it is cold outside). I’m on my knees( like a good girl) and I move closer. I grabbed him a again, ( like it was a shy cat that was going to run away if I didn’t hold onto it all the time).  I move up and give his cock a kiss again. Leaving a little more lipstick. Wish I had used more lip gloss.  Then move my tongue around the crown.  I use my tongue to flick that area on the underside of  his crown. An area I know is very sensitive.  I then take it into my mouth.  OMG. This feels so good in my mouth. Like having chocolate ice cream.  So satisfying.  I start to bob my head and mouth up and down his length. I can hear him moan once in a while.  I know I'm being a good girl.  I move down to his nuts. I've never really thought that they were a great source of pleasure, but some of he videos I've watched say that men like it. I take turns sucking each of his nuts into my mouth.  I don't get into it. I go back to his cock and start licking again and listening to his moans in response to me. I take him into my mouth and twirl my tongue around the end of his cock.  Now I seem to become infected with the passion of a true cocksucker.  It seems to have become something that I can't satisfy in myself.  I have to keep doing this. This is my reason for living.  I didn't think I ever felt that passionately about anything before. I feel like I'm going crazy just because of this cock and I can't stop myself.  I wonder if I will get a feeling that I have done it justice.

"Uhmmm. I think I'm going to cum." He says. 

I put my mouth around his head and waited.  Not long. Still putting a little suction on the tip.  Soon, I felt it spurting into my mouth. I can't swallow it. I have to wait till I stop the suction on him.  OMG. wow that is a lot.  I was curious about the taste, but it was quite pleasant.  Like a little salty sugar cookies.  I finally swallowed, but seemed to get another partial refill. I twirled it around in my mouth with my tongue, savoring the taste.  I could see now how girls could be come cock addicts. 

I look up at him, smile, Ask," Was I a good girl?"

He smiles back and says, " Yes and no." then pauses and adds, " You were a very good girl and a very  naughty girl too."

I get up and move to the couch sitting beside him. Taking my right hand to hold his cock still.  He smiles at me and says, "I'm spent." 

I look at him and say, "Yes I know, but I think I could get you recharged pretty quickly, starting to stroke his member. 

" I don't know if I could do anything yet. You took all my energy."

I smiled at him and said," It was a little more than a mouthful. That's for sure."  He put his arm around me and pulled me close. I leaned against him, my head on his shoulder and chest. He pulled my chin up with his other hand and kissed me. Then I kissed him back passionately. Then saying, "I'm sorry, I've  still got cum taste in my mouth."

"Oh. I thought I that I had tasted your lip gloss."

I smirked, and pointed to his cock and said, " All my lip gloss is there." pointing at all the red that was on his cock.   I looked at him and asked, "You don't mind the taste of cum?" 

He answered, " There are a lot of women who really like the taste and there are some that can't fathom it being in their mouth.  I was thinking if you had it in your mouth and you didn't puke.  It can't be that bad.  Besides, it's only cum. It's not going to kill me."  I think you are trying to revive a dead soldier." Indicating my trying to revive his member.  

"I think we should go to bed and get some sleep." he says.

I reply, "Yeah.  I guess I can agree with that. But I don't want to get naked. I lose girlyness if I get naked. I'll keep my panties and bra on.  If that is ok with you?"

He smiles, " what ever makes you happy."

We go into his bedroom and he takes of his socks and shirt. and now is naked.  I'm trying to reach behind me, but can't find the zipper to the dress. I ask, " Can you unzip me please." He moves my hair out of the way, then kisses the back of my neck.  I close my eyes. Then I feel him unzipping me. 

He asks, "Is that ok?"

"Yes." I sigh. I let the dress drop and step out of it pick it up and put it on a close chair. I sit on the bed, He has already climbed in. I peel off my pantihose. Roll it up put them on the bedside stand so I can find the in the morning.  I crawl under the covers and move over beside him. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close.  Pretty soon I can tell that he is asleep,   His breathing is slow, his whole body feels relaxed.  Pretty soon I'm asleep.  

I wake up I've rolled over on my other side and we are spooning.  I can feel that he has a morning wood, as it is poking at my ass. He has his arm around me and he has a hold my left breast form.  I wished that it was a real one. I wished that I was a real girl so I could sleep naked with him.  He seems to snuggle up to me more, seeming to poke me more in the ass with his dick.  Maybe if I move it to the side to won't bug me so much.  I reach behind my and take it in my hand and move it to the side and move close to him.  That didn't work. What if I move it so it wasn't poking me in the but, but placed it between my legs.  I moved my hand behind me and then lifted my leg and guided it to rest between my legs.  That didn't wake him. Wow is he a sound sleeper.  I laid there for a minute thinking I was going to go to sleep, but Having his cock between my legs was getting me so aroused that I didn't think I could stand it.  I started to rock a little letting it slide in and out between my legs.  I was getting so turned on that I thought I might cum.   I wanted to cum so bad now.  Maybe if I got up and went in the bathroom and masterbated.  Maybe I should wake him and get him to fuck me. But that goes against my own rule that I wouldn't fuck on the first date. I have to wait till the 3rd date.  What a stupid rule for one's self.  Laying there, I was trying to figure out what to do besides just moving back and forth feeling his cock slide back and forth between my legs. I was going crazy.  I want him in me in the worse way.

"Should I be doing anything or do you want to do this solo?" He whispered into my ear.  

Oh, Shit. I'd been caught. what To do now.  I turned my head towards him and said, "Your morning woody was poking me and I was trying to figure out how to get it so it wouldn't poke me anymore."

"Oh.  Have you figured out what you are going to do with it then?"

" Well I was trying something, But it doesn't seem to be helping me settle down."

" Yes I can tell. What do you think would help?"

" You could tell? Tell what?"

" You were breathing somewhat heavy and gasping every now and then."

"How long have you been awake?  "

"Just after you took my dick in your hand and put it between you legs."

"Really?  That long? Why didn't you say something?"

" Why say anything and ruin the moment?  What time is it? Do you have to be anywhere?  Do you want some breakfast? I could make us some coffee?" he asks. "Or would you rather we stay in bed for the rest of the day?" He leans into me and puts his arms around me and pulls me close and gives me a small kiss on the lips. If he keeps this up, I'm going to have his dick in my mouth again, which probably wouldn't be a bad thing. Or in my ass, which I don't think I'm ready for. Or maybe I am.  I may need some prep time. 

He lays back and I follow him to the bed.  I have my head on his shoulder and chest.  I take my hand and play with his chest. Tickling his nips a little till they get erect.  I move my hand down to his stomach.  I move my hand down farther, getting in the area that I would usually feel some fur.  I liked that it was as smooth as mine. Then bump. There was the tree.  I took a hold of it, looking at his face.  He smiled at me and says, "Don't start something you can't or don't finish."  He pulls my face up and kisses me again. I'm beginning to think I would do anything for him. I move my head down and watch very closely as I continue with my hand job. Continuing to get closer. I open my  mouth and lick the head.  He still tastes so good. I put my mouth around the head. and give a good suck.  I think doing that makes him even bigger.  I start taking him in my mouth and keep moving my hand up and down his shaft. I go down until I feel him in the back of my throat.  Didn't realize how much I like doing that though I've only done it with him.  I keep going at him and pretty soon I hear.

"Oh, God. Jordan. I'm going to cum."   

I wrap my mouth around his head and feel the spurts inside my mouth.  I hold him in my mouth and swallow.  He tastes as good as he did last night.  I lift my head up and look at him.  He looks like the picture of the man that had the best orgasm of his life.  I smile and move up to him. He pulls me close to give my a kiss.  

He says, "So you want to stay in bed for the day?"

I smile at him and say, "My wish or yours?"

" Would have to be yours. I've gotten my wish a few times over.  What's your wish ?"

" Wish that this could go on forever.?" I say

" Really?   You do?  Me too."

"What are you saying?" I ask. "What do you mean?"

" I may be jumping way ahead. Maybe you wouldn't be interested. Maybe I should just go one step at a  time.", he says.

I sit up in the bed now, facing him, my legs crossed up and pulled up close and say, " Explain."

"Well, we've been friends for a number of years. We've been very close, we've done things together in the past that I don't think other friends would have done."

"Like what?"

"Okay, that Halloween when you were dressed in that cute outfit and we got drunk and tried to get in that bar, they wouldn't let us until we were making out like crazy in front of the place till, they let us in. Do regular friends do that?  Do guys make out with each other? Maybe if they are gay, but I've never had a gay relationship before. And I still don't consider this thing that we have as being gay.  I see You as a girl, No, as a woman, that some how has taken over the mind of my good friend."

"Okay, yes that is different. I admit that. I still can't believe that we made out like that on the sidewalk in front of that club.  That was fun though.  I can't believe that you did that with me." I say.

"I can't believe that you gave me a blowjob. No two blowjobs ! Where did that come from?" He says.

"Oh that has been something that I have wanted to do for a long time.  I really wanted to be the girl in a relationship, and it seemed to be the right time and I thought that you were the right guy.  I think of it as an affirmation that I am a girl.  Oh. I never thought it through. You weren't bothered that I was sucking your cock, were you?  Oh. And do you always kiss the girls that gave you a blow job, even when they still have some of your cum on their lips and in their mouth ?"

He smiles. "No It didn't bother me at all.  You can do that anytime you want."  He pauses. "So what now?  I'm okay with the thought of staying in bed with you for the rest of the day.  If you want. But aren't you getting hungry?  Do you want some coffee?  I'll make us some.  I'd bring you breakfast in bed if you like."

"No." I say, "I am hungry and would do anything for a cup of coffee.  Anything!" I wink at him. " But I don't like to eat in bed. So I'll get up with you."

He gets up and give his cute ass a little love spank.  He jumps. and goes to his closet for a robe.

I ask, " Do you have a robe that I can wear?  I feel odd just walking around in my bra and panties."

He says, " I don't have an extra robe, but how about a flannel shirt? They always seem to be long for me.?  He hands me one that is a black and red plaid. I put it on.

After I have it on I start to sing to him the Monty Python Lumber jack song.  He starts laughing and that gets me laughing too.  We walked into the kitchen. I took a set on a stool by the island.  He went over and emptied out the old coffee. and ran some water filling the carafe.  poured some grounds into a filter that he placed in the machine, pushed a button. Soon there was the smell of fresh coffee being made.   He opened another cupboard and took out a frying pan.  Looking at me he asked, "Do you want some eggs and toast?  I think that is all I have right now." 

"That would be Nice."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"I could do poached, fried, Sunny side up or down, an omelet, scrambled."

I'm walking around his kitchen. "This is really a nice place you have.  This was your parents?" 

"Yes. They did a bunch of remodeling of the place, and were going to sell it and buy a place where it is warmer.  They have insurance that will pay for their time in assisted living,  They said if they aren't able to leave there and come back home that I could have the place.  They have done some really good investing are somewhat set financially.  The little time I've bee here. I really like it. Told them I'd consider buying it but they say it would be willed to me when they pass away.  But since they are in assisted living, I'm not sure that they will be able to come back. They both have physically declined and They would have to be able to show that they can take care of themselves before they can get out.  I don't think that they are going to be able to come back.  Right now I have an apartment in Minneapolis and I have to got there some time and make arrangements to have all my stuff sent here.  I was planning on going down tomorrow and then make arrangements for all my stuff to be sent back.  What are you doing tomorrow?" 

"Uh, Nothing." being a little in shock in the question. "Why?"

"Do you want to come down to the cities tomorrow? Hang out, then come back. We might have to spend one day there before we come back."

"Uhmm.  Wait a minute/ are you asking me to come down to the cities with you, As your old college friend or as I am now, a girl?  Are you asking me thinking that I'm your girl friend or what?  This (indicating the two of us) seems to be changing?"

He laughs," No shit. It is weird. I do admit that. I'm kind of taking some leaps, that I should stop doing and start with smaller steps.  You see, I see you as my old friend from college that I really liked to hang out with and enjoyed his company.  But also I see you as this knockout of a girl that I just met and have had a super wonderful time with.  And those two people are in the same body.  I am having a hard time separating the two of you.  If you would like to come to the cities with me as my old friend I think that would be great. If you would want to come to the cities as my new girl friend I think that would be absolutely fantastic.  Either way I would like some company, which ever of you wants to come.

"You want me to be your girl friend?" I asked.  " we've only been on one date.  I'm not even a full time girl yet."  How are we going to pull that off?  Also do you know what you are asking me?  You're asking me to be a girl full time. To be a girl. I have to have boobs. I would have to start on HRT. I have to go and get evaluated before that to see if I qualify for HRT.  Being on HRT is something that I have thought about and I have thought about it a lot. But to really start down that road I have to come out. I have to tell people that I am going to be a woman. I will no longer be that guy that has the long hair and is sometimes mistaken for a women.  I will have to get a new drivers license. All that crap.  So do you really want me to be your girlfriend?"

" Well at first I thought it would be nice.  I have known you for a long time.  I didn't know about the girl mode.  Well, sort of I guess I did. But I like you.  I like you a lot.  And not for you giving the best blow jobs I have ever had either.  I like how we can talk together and get along.  I think I could help you. "

" How do you think that you could help?"

"Well. I could go with you to your evaluation and say that I have known you for years and that you are my girlfriend and that it is something that you have thought about for a long time and now it is something that you want."

"But I haven't been your girlfriend for years."

"You're right. But I have known you for years. And are you saying you will be my girlfriend?"

"What? How did you gather that?"

"You said, I haven't been your girl friend for years. So that would insinuate that you are my girlfriend, but for a shorter period of time."  

" Okay.  I'm not sure where you are going with this.  I like you too.  I have always felt that we were really good friends.  I'm really glad that you accepted me as a girl last night, and this morning.  But I don't think I'm ready to be a girl friend for anyone.  I admit that it is something that I have always wanted. I have always wanted to be a girl. Now a woman.  But I haven't been brave enough to take that step.  That first step, going to a clinic and getting on HRT. Probably have get see some sort of counselor as well who would have to determine that I'm not crazy.  That is the part that gets me nervous.  I don't want to start down that path and be told that I can't finish the trip. Maybe having surgery. Becoming a woman."

"What do you mean becoming a woman?  You look like you are a woman already.  You act like a woman.  Hell, I'm sure that everyone at the party last night thought that you were a woman.  If you have been thinking about it. How long have you been thinking about it? About becoming a woman? Last night when you went to the bathroom, which rooms did you use? The men's or the women's?

"Well I couldn't very well use the men's with the dress that I was wearing?"

"Did anyone in the ladies room give you a bad time for using the wrong one?"

"Did you touch up your makeup when you were in the bath room? Touch up your lipstick?" 

"Yes. So what?"

"Did you talk to anyone while you were in there?"

"Yes.  A women complimented me on the color of my lipstick. She wanted to get some of the same shade. I told her I got it at Walmart and told her the name of the shade"

"So you passed a very close encounter and no one thought that you weren't a woman?"

Okay.  I get what you are saying and seeing things.  But it's the coming out and telling everyone that I want to be a girl. The people that I know and the people that I work with."

"You think that your friends will not support your decision?   You think that the people at your work will think badly of you?"

I snicker," No I think they will accept me pretty well. We have a couple of women that make no qualms, about them only being interested in other women.  We've had a patient of two that have come in for breast augmentation and they were transitioning.  No one seemed to bat an eye about. I think too that I am not the most masculine guy where I work.  Funny, I think that they might even expect it."

" What do you think your family will say about it?"

" I don't really have a family, I don't have any brothers or sisters, and my parents were killed in a car accident the year after we graduated from college."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know. You were pretty close to them, if I recall right?

"Well, my mom and I were really close." I say. "My dad and I weren't that close, but I don't think he didn't like me.  I just think that I wasn't manly enough for him as I was growing up. When I was twelve or thirteen, Mom caught me crossdressing.  She was okay with it. She even started to treated like her daughter sometimes. That really freaked me out at first, but it made us so much closer to each other.  She even bought me some things that she thought I might like.  I'm not sure if mom told my dad or what, but after that he really started to put the distance between us.  Yeah, I do miss my mom."

We finished eating and had our coffee.  Michael went into the living room.  I asked If I could take a shower and freshen up, Maybe get dressed.  I went to the bed room. Got my dress.( It wasn't as wrinkled as I thought it would be.)  Went into the bathroom, hung up his flannel shirt, got out of my bra and panties. started the shower and waited for the water to get warm.  I stood there for awhile thinking, do I undo the tape for my tuck or do I try to see if it will last through a shower.  I think my panties will hold things in place. Will the tape be easier to take off after the shower.  I stood there for a minute.  Shit.  I realized I had still had breast forms that were glued in place.  I don't think they will come off in the shower after they get wet.  They are supposed to stay in place even if I swim in a pool.  I look around and don't see a towel.  I look in the cupboard and find one. I see myself in the mirror again, as it is getting a little foggy and it is harder to see that my breast forms are breast forms and not real boobs. I reach up and give them a squeeze.  I really would like to have real boobs. Someone says that estrogen makes your nipple more sensitive.  OMG that would be so nice.  I could see the shower was warm now.  Hot even. There was steam rising out of it.   I get in the shower and use his shampoo. It is a combination shampoo and conditioner that I haven't used, but have thought about it.  I borrow his razor and make sure I don't have a five o'clock shadow. I get done showering and feel pretty good.  I don't have that feeling that I just had sex with ten guys. I undo the tape on my tuck. That's a relief.  I get done and step out and dry my self off. I see that he has a bottle of moisturizing lotion, I smell it. It's certainly is not overwhelming a masculine scent. I'm surprised, that it is almost floral.  I take a few pumps and start rubbing it in all over my body.  Now I'm starting to feel really good.  I don't feel really hungover, like I thought I would. I put on my panties and bra and slip on my pantyhose then pull my dress over my head and zip it up.  Now what to do with my hair and make up.  I find a brush and start brushing my hair and using the towel to dry it. I give up.   I find a rubber band and put my hair in a ponytail.

 I leave the bath room. and Michael is standing by the door.  He says, "Did you find every thing ok?"

"Yes." I tell him. " I used some of your lotion. Actually a lot of your lotion. I was surprised that it wasn't some masculine scent, whatever the name of that is. " 

"Oh. That  think that is something that my mother used to use and I'll use it once in a while, especially in the winter when my skin gets so dry."

"Yeah. My skin gets real dry in the winter too. I use a lotion a lot, I even use that women's lotions soap that helps moisturize your skin when showering.  I really like it and how my skin feels after I use it."

"Hmm. I'll have to get some and try it. And then it would be here if you ever need it again."

I smile at him, "You're still thinking about me staying the night again huh ?  Was I that good?"  I wink at him. He moves closer and wraps his arms around me and give me a hug, then gives me a kiss. I think I'm getting,,,oh my.  He pulls me closer and I can feel his hands on my butt.  I thank the gym god for making me do all those squats. He loosens me from his arms. and says,"I have to take a shower too.  I'll be right out." 

I step out of is arms, and wink again, "Want me to wash you back?"

"No.  Not today, maybe next time."

"Okay."

I go back to the kitchen and have another cup of coffee.  I see my reflection in the glass of one of the cupboards and am taken a back a little.  I can't help my self but taking a long look at my self. I've done it before and always liked how I looked when I was en' femme.  Today though, something was different. My hair was done nicer, though, I still think it had that look that giving two blow jobs would do to your hair. My makeup looked ok. My lipstick was a little smudged, but then I'd just kissed my boyfriend.  Wait! What was that I was thinking a second ago?  My boyfriend?  Wait. Am I jumping the gun or is there some part of me that really likes the idea?  Moving to the living room I start looking at myself in the mirror.  I look closely at myself, at my lips, mouth nose, hair, eyes.  Then I see it.  You shit I say to myself.  You look happy.  I give a long sigh.  Really? I ask myself.  Is this making you happy?  No. I say to myself, but realize that I can't lie to myself.  Yes I am happy.  I have never been dressed up before and was never happy.  Yes I am really happy now.  This is really scary.  What am I going to do?

Michael got out of the shower and walked into his bedroom to change and I caught a glimpse of his butt.  It made me smile.  I went back into the kitchen and had a seat and was drinking some more coffee. He came in and was wearing jeans and a T shirt.  I looked at myself and then at him and said, "I don't mean to be rude. But with me dressed in this dress and you in jeans, makes me look and feel like an expensive hooker."  

He looks at me then himself, "Oh yes, I'm sorry, Let me change."

Shit.  He is so nice.  He's making me happy, just by being himself.  He knows who I am and is accepting me. This is something that I have always wanted.  I have always wanted to be a girl.  Ever since raiding Moms underwear drawer, I've wanted to be a girl.  He is so accepting of me in my dress. It's like no big deal to him.  

He comes out of the bedroom in blue Dockers and a light blue button down shirt. Looking really nice.  I said," You clean up very nice."   

He walks up to me and takes me in his arms again and says, " Not nearly as well as you do." and give me a kiss and adds, "I would like to hold you forever like this."  

Oh this is way too nice.  I'm going to I say I want to stay the weekend.  No that would really complicate my life. Just go home. Stay in the closet and don't come out. Continue your life as it is.  Nothing wrong with the status quo.  Yeah, but I could be really happy.  Not just on the surface.  I could live how I think I'm suppose to live.  

He finally lets go of me and we go into the kitchen and sit.  He asks.  "Do you want to go home and get into some regular clothes." 

I look at him and ask," Do you mean regular girl clothes of regular boy clothes?"

"Hmmm." He says, "Didn't think of that. Which would you prefer?"

"Oh. It depends.  If we are going to just hang out together and that's it then I could wear my boy clothes.

"But if we are going to hold hands and go places and maybe make out, then I think I should wear girl clothes."

" Which do you want to wear?"

I can feel my heart melting.  I want to be with him. I want to be his girl.  But am I pushing this a little or is it going way too fast. Am I missing something? 

"Well it would be odd to make out if is was in my boy mode. Wouldn't you think?" 

"Yes that would be odd.  Especially in a public place.  Are you comfortable staying dressed as a girl for a weekend?"

"Yes."  I sort of lied.  I have stayed in girl mode for a weekend, but most of it has been at home in my apartment. Yes, I've ventured out some dressed but never with someone.

"Ok.  I think I would like to spend more time with the girl Jordon too.  I'll get your coat, and I'll drive you home and you can get some things. Then we could go and have lunch somewhere. Too bad it's so cold. We could do some things outside.  We could see what movies are playing while we are at lunch."

"Okay, that would be great. sounds like a great day."

He held my coat for me and helped me into it. You are such a gentleman.  That will get you points for later tonight. "Thanks",  I said.

He smiled and says, "You are welcome."

We walked out into his garage and got into his car.  He pulled out and shut the garage door with his remote and got almost to the street. He looked at me and asked, "Which way to your place?"

"Oh, hmm. Go that way." I said and pointed down the street. "Once you get to 20th street take a left and the go up to University and then take a right. Then at Main St  take another right.  

We drove for a while after we got to University and I said, " It's these apartments up here on the left.  Take the left up here and go around and you can find a place in the lot."  There are a lot of college students that live in my apartment and a lot of them went home during Christmas break, so there were a lot of open places to park.  We got out and went into the building.  I was really quiet. We walked up to the third floor and I used my key to get in.  I hope the place isn't a disaster. Not remembering if I had cleaned the place before I left for the party.  Sigh of relief. 

I go in and he follows me. I say, "Welcome to my humble abode.  He looks around smiles.  I ask, " what's the smile for?" 

He says," It looks like a girls place. There seems just a bit more femininity that I wasn't expecting.  You gave the impression that you liked to cross-dress and have thought of being a woman,  But I see that it is really that you seem to be really a woman in how you live, but not all only the time in when you dress."

I didn't know how to respond to that, but said, "I guess I just fixed it up to look like how I though it should look."  He smiled at me.

I go to my bedroom and open my closet and get a couple of pairs of slacks, a skirt, a few panties and a couple of bras.  Then I realize I should make sure that they match as that is so much more sexy, then random colors.  I take off my dress and step out of my panties and get out another pair, and put them on and did my tuck, stepped in front of mirror to check out my butt.  I'm really glad I do all of those squats.  I love these cheeky bikinis.  I change my bra, checking my breast forms to ensure that they are still glued on pretty well. I'm glad the adhesive I used is waterproof. Putting on my bra, I realize that I picked out a pink push-up bra. I really do wish I had real boobs. Wondering how sensitive they and my nips would be.  They seem to be so sensitive already.  I find a pair of jeans that I like to wear around that are really tight, put them on.  I find a white top that is somewhat clingy, and a dark blue cardigan   sweater that is really soft and put it on.  I find a pair of flats that I have worn that are real comfortable.  Now what to pack for the rest of the week end.  I just grab a few pairs of panties, a couple of bras that match, get a nice pair of slacks, and a cute top that goes with it.  I find my plaid skirt grab the white top that goes with it and the tie that seems like a school girl outfit. Smiling to myself of being the naughty school girl.  I need some stocking to go with this. Here they are the black thigh highs.  I look at everything and then realize that I should take a nice dress along too. Just in case. then grab a pair of pantyhose to wear with it. Shit I need shoes that match these outfits too. I find my black heels that I think should go with the plaid skirt and the dress that I pick out. Okay I think I'm ready,  Oops. nope I need my make up stuff too.  Now I'm ready.  Spending a week end as a guy is so easy, but as a girl, you have to think of all the things that you need to take along.  And I haven't even thought of my hair. Oh Well. I'm not going worry about that.  I put everything in a bag and take it out to the living room.

I ask him, " Are we going to stay in town or are we going to go to your apartment in the city so you can start taking care of things there?" 

"I think we will stay here in town, We can talk about going down some weekend when you are off.  That is if you want to come down with me?'

"Okay. I guess I would have to know if I'm going with you as your friend from college or your new girl friend."  

"Which would you prefer?"

"Hmm. "I think I'm ready." I say.

"Ready for what?. Friend from college or new girl friend?" He asks.

" I  think I'm ready to be the girl friend."

"Great.   We can always go out and get something if you did forget something. "

I get my coat and we walk out to his car. He opens the door for me and takes my bag and places it in the back seat. I slide into the seat and think to myself, I think I'm really going to love this and smile to myself. 

 








  






Monday, December 26, 2022

Dreams

I woke up the other night from a dream that I felt was way too short and seemed to be just a little too real.

Let's start with a basic thing.  I'm from a small town. I have been to a number of big towns ( New York, Chicago, St Louis, Los Angeles) I had worked in an ER in new Jersey for 6 weeks.  I rarely get a chance to get out of the house en femme. I have done it where I have gone out in the country at night in my mini skirt and heels and watch the stars, but is has been a while. 

Going on.  I was walking down this city street. It seemed like New York, but is was so odd. It was mid afternoon.  It seemed like it was early fall, and starting to get a little chill to the air.  I was walking down a street and there were tall buildings all around.  I thought I just love the big city. You can get lost in the people here and no one to pay you any mind. the I notice that there were no people. I was walking down the street and I didn't see anyone.  I got to the end of the side walk and was walking across the street. I got to the curb and looked town to step up on the curb. As I looked down I noticed that I was wearing a very dark red sequined dress that was about 8 inches above my knee. I had on black hose that was patterned and I had black heels on. I had a black leather coat on that was open.  as i bent my head down to step up in the curb, my long dark brown hair fell onto my face. I used my right hand to brush my hair out of my face and hook it behind my right ear. when I touched my face and ear I woke up.

I was so pissed. I didn't want to wake up then. I wanted to keep walking.

Here are what some of the things in my dream looked like.

My Dress:, Except it was a darker red. More like a venous blood red.



My Stockings


My Heels were similar but black,

My Coat:

and my hair.  I really like this style.  Would love to grow it out like this. 



Funny ;; I read a book this past fall.  Altered states of consciousness. Was hoping there would be something in there on dream interpretation, but no luck.  

I have been watching  a lot of sissy hypno videos and have done  couple of audio only sessions.   It's probably related to that. 

thanks for stopping by,

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

 Hi All

I'm back. 

 In case some one noticed that I was gone.  

About a year ago. (but maybe 18 months ago),  I thought I as going to give this up.  I did have some health issues that have become apart of me for the rest of my life. I thought I should step up and stop being girly. I stopped this blog, stopped reading other peoples blog and, did a purge of my girl clothes.  This is about the 3rd or 4th purge that I've have.  Things went okay for a while, but I noticed that I was getting depressed. Going back, I think this was the longest time that I went by since I had a purge. must have been 5 + years since I Purged.  Now I'm just frustrated.  I had some nice dresses, shoes. lots of panties and bras.  Now I have to build up my wardrobe.  It sucks. the big one.  But I already have a few pairs of pantie's,  Not much but it is a start. I

I'll try to post a few things here once in a while. 

If you did notice that I was gone, thanks for noticing.

Rhonda 

Monday, October 19, 2020

Do you know the taste of Semen? : A Story I want to tell

 It was a fall when I was in college.  It was a Saturday. None of my friends wanted to go out, so I went by myself to this bar that always had really nice bands to listen to.  I had had a few beers and was standing leaning against a pillar that held up the the balcony.  I noticed that there was a guy leaning against the other side of the pillar. We made eye contact and I said hi, and that it was a nice band. He agreed and we talked about some of the songs that they had played and how much they sounded like the original musicians.  I was going to go get another beer, when he asked if I wanted to go to his place and smoke some weed. I said that would be fun. We left. He got in his car and drove around till he found me and I followed him in my car to his apartment.  We got there and his room mate and his room mate's girl friend were there. We all talked for a bit then they looked like they wanted to go off to bed.  John( I don't remember his name) went and got some pot and rolled a joint.  We started smoking. i got really high. I was kind of spacing out when he said that he was under a lot of stress and that his shoulder were really tight from the stress and asked if I would give him a massage. Sure, why not. I started on his shoulder, which really did feel tight when I first started, but slowly loosened up. He said that really helped and asked if he could return the favor. Ok. Soon he was rubbing my shoulder and my back, then before I knew it he was massaging my ass.  I had to admit the whole thing felt really nice.  Then he leaned in my ear and asked if I wanted to go to bed.  I said sure. Now I have to say that at that time I was a virgin. I hadn't yet gotten lucky with a woman and at that time had never even considered being with a guy.  He went and turned of the lights and we climbed the stairs. Also at that time I had been crossdressing for many years, but didn't know much about it except that I enjoyed pretending to be the girl. As I was climbing the steps. I became the girl even though I didn't have a single piece of girls clothing on. We got to his room and he said I could put my clothes on the chair by the bed. I stripped and watched him get undressed. We crawled into bed and started to make out.  Soon he had my cock in his hand. He kissed my neck and then he worked his way down and then sucked me for a bit. No one had ever done that to me before. I asked him to stop, and he did. He then moved up and straddled my chest and stuck his cock in my mouth and then fucked my face. I had no idea of how to give a blow job. I think he got frustrated by that and asked if I liked to fuck. I think I was so stoned all I could do was smile.  He said great and got some lube and put on his cock. I was lying on my back and he lifted my legs up to where my knees were on my chest.  He said just relax and pushed himself in. I didn't think it hurt or anything.  I do know it felt good and as he kept pumping me I started to like it more. after a while he asked me if I would like to fuck and I said yes. I was too stoned to do anything. and asked him to sit on my cock. I was so anxious and excited I don't think I lasted more then 5 or six strokes when I came in his ass.  He got off of my crotch and then laid down beside me and started beating himself off. He asked me to come close and I rested my head on his chest.  I was so confused at that point. I wanted to take his cock in my hand and beat him off so that  could to that for him. I thought of trying to suck his cock, but he had just had that in my ass, so there was no way I'd do that.  He came pretty soon and I got some on my face. I Don't know how he saw it when it was as dark as it was, but he wiped some off with his finger and then wiped it on my lips. I was so stoned all I did was lick it off my lips. Then like so many time when I came when I was cross dressed I had a tremendous amount of guilt. I sat up and said I had to go, I had to work the next day. I got dressed and left. Got back to my apartment, and the next morning my roommates were giving me a bad time about getting lucky and would I ever see her again.  If they only knew.  

Ever since I have had that event go through my head so many times. How different things would be if I had taken his cock in my hand given him a hand job. If I had asked if he would do me doggy style, which now I wish I had.   If I would have talked to him again when I met him in the cafeteria.  Since then I have had fantasizes of me being his girl. I've even thought of me being the girl in a MFM with him and another guy.  But maybe that is just a common fantasy of crossdressers.   

If you have have read this far I have to say thank you for taking the time and dropping by.  Kisses, Rhonda



 

Monday, June 22, 2020

Dreams

Hi. I had this dream the other night. It was really odd and I at one point thought that I really didn't want this to end. I wished that was how my life was.
     I had fallen asleep on the couch. In this time of self isolation I was just in my underwear and a T shirt.  I was sleeping and then I had this sensation of someone kissing my neck. They moved my hair out of the way and started kissing my ear and saying how sexy I looked. I was really getting turned on. He then moved his hand to my stomach and then slowly moved it upward, I could feel him unbuttoning my blouse. Then it was like. I'm not wearing  a button up blouse. Soon he had his hand on my breast and was caressing it and rubbing my nipples. I felt like I was being set on fire. But wait.  I'm a guy.  Why are you caressing my breasts. I  don't have breasts.  Do I ? I opened my eyes and looked down. Sure enough. I almost started crying.  Oh I have wished I had breasts for so long. They were as beautiful as I had always hoped. I was so aroused. . Then he stopped. I could feel him moving away.  I heard him sit on the chair that was next to the couch, I rolled over and sat up. I looked at what I was wearing, an off-white collarless button up blouse and some pink love bikini panties.


 I didn't recall having these pieces before. I could feel that I was wet. He was sitting in the chair next to the couch. He still had his pajama bottoms on, but no shirt. You could tell that he worked out a lot.  Dark hair. getting a little too long from how he usually had it. Not yet shaved for the day.
He looked at me and asked, "Do you want me to make the coffee?" .
"No. Not yet."
I got up and walked over to his chair and sat on his lap, straddling him.. Gave him a long wet kiss and leaned into his ear and said. " Don't you usually finish what you start?"
He then turned his head and started kissing my neck again. He had his hands on my waist and  moved them up and grabbed each of my breasts and gave each one an appreciative squeeze.  Then he started that thing with my nips again.


 I don't know how it happened but I suddenly realized I was gyrating pelvis on his. I could feel him getting hard underneath me. That seemed to arouse me even more. I sat up and shrugged off my blouse. He leaned forward and kissed each of my breasts, then went on to lick my nips. I don't know how to tell you how much that turns me on. I was arching my back trying to make my breasts more accessible to him. grinding my pelvis into him. Oh my God.. then I felt his hand slip into my panties. That moment of dread. He's going to find my little clitty(dick) and this will be over.  But soon he was rubbing something that was so pleasurable.  Ohhh. I let out a gasp.. I leaned forward, and tried to spread my legs some. Then he put a finger inside me. Ohhh. I gasped again. Oh my god.  My pelvis started moving and I had no control of it. I wanted to return the favor and give him pleasure too. I climbed off him and stood before  him,
 I peeld off my panties and kneeled before him. I reached up and untied the knot holding his PJ's on.  I started pulling them down, he lifted his butt up and up popped a beautiful cock. I pulled his pajama off and the moved between his knees. I took his cock in my hand then leaned up and gave it a little kiss. I took it in my mouth.


 I've had a cock in my mouth before but none that tasted this good.  I started to suck him and it felt like my life depended on it. I felt like I had a spot in my mouth that if I kept doing this I was going to cum.  I felt that I was on fire.


 He stopped me. lifted me up and had me straddle him again.  I stuck his finger in me again.  Oh... I moaned, I said I wanted him in me. I lifted myself up and he rubbed his cock against my opening.  It felt like he was holding a red hot rod against my skin. He slowly slid it in me.  I let out a loud moan.  I slowly slid down on him, feeling him fill me up.  I started moving up and down on his lap, feeling him going in and out of me. I could feel a sensation building up in me.  I started to move faster and he started to go faster as well.  Soon I felt something like an explosion inside of me,  I felt like I was going to have a convulsion. I started to have muscle contractions every where. I was quivering, shaking uncontrollably.  I collapse forward on him and just laid against his body. I could still feel him in me. He was slowly moving himself in and out.  I kissed his neck and kissed his lips and smiled at him. He said, "I'll make the coffee."  I smiled at him and gave him a kiss again, and move over to the couch. curled up with a blanket and fell asleep.
I don't know how long I slept.
I woke up in my T shirt and underwear. Saw my breasts were gone my pussy was gone.  Shit!

Monday, April 27, 2020

Hi. I know why you're here. You're expecting some sort of gratification, acknowledgement, of who you are, what you are or who you want ot be.

I wish I had the power to help you in your journey. All I can do is encourage you. Take that step. it only takes a step at a time and then you are closer to your goal.  Most of the steps aren't non-reversible. You can  take a step and decide if you like it. You can stay at that point till you are ready to go to the next step.

Start wearing panties all the time.
There's nothing wrong with wearing panties. They are so comfy. they give you that support to keep you tucked away, and looking like a girl. That's what you want isn't it? 

Next you have to wear a bra. that is the one thing you have to wear. Nothing else marks you as a gurl want-to-be as wearing a bra. And there are so many to chose from too. And you can get a panties, bra matching set..  How sexy is that ?



So a bra and panties? Nice small step. Don't you feel good in your progress. Now you need a dress. What's the sense of looking so good in your bra and panties. Sure you can run around the house in just those, but don't you want to look more femme. So a dress would be nice.. What kind? What kind of gurl are you wanting to be?



 Personally, I've had my eyes on this one, but just waiting for that special occasion.

Oh and don't forget your hair. You will need to grow it out or get a wig. which then give you the options of being a blond of brunette or a redhead.  



Now you look fabulous.  Now you are so sexy,  You can move the world, or make parts of it hard. You know what I mean. Why look so sexy if you can't take advantage of it. You know what I mean. Now you can do those things that girls get to do and it's acceptable.  Flirting, go out on dates. Showing your date that you had a good time by giving him a good time. That is why you started dressing? 
Isn't it?
You see you've made small steps. and each step is still reversible. You can go back.  
So what would be the next step.?
Yes you know.
Yes it is kissing the big stick.
Sure it's a big step. You have to go through a lot in your head to do that. That question of "but I'm not gay, am I?"  No you're not. You are a gurl.  Girls do that. They do it all the time. Look at yourself in the mirror. Don't you see that person in a dress, You can see the out line of the bra underneath, the long hair, the lipstick, the gorgeous legs.
No you're not gay, you're a girl. Go ahead. It's just a step that you can still reverse things. You can still go back to how you were. It may be harder for you, until you start to see some of the power that you have.  How you have so much control of a guy when you are on your knees between his legs.

You can look up into his eyes and see the power you have over him. 

So you see, all the steps so far are reversible.  
You can still go back to being the guy that used to wear dresses. and gave great blow jobs
But then there is another step.

And you know that step too.
That's right. You want to make love with a man. All those worries and problems of premature ejaculation will disappear. You don't have to worry about pleasing the girl. You are the girl and what ever he does to you will please you. It will feel so good. To make love and not have to worry of cumming too early. Sure it may hurt a little when you first start, but you know that if you use plenty of lube, things go better. And you can always practice with toys before advancing to the real thing.




And you can get your manhood fucked out of you, and you could still walk away and go back to being the guy that used to wear dresses and liked to give blow jobs and take it in the ass.
All the steps so far have been reversible. 
So what do you have to do to cross that line to not being able to turn back.
Well we all wish we had them,



Having breasts is the true commitment to being a sissy. You have boobs, and there is no way to going back to being that  guy that wears dresses and likes to give great blow jobs and get fucked in the ass.
Now you are the gurl that likes all those things. and girls like those things.

You can wear real sexy tops.

If you had them then you could enjoy some nipple play
I've had a few orgasms' by  just having my nips sucked.


So do what you need to do and want to do to make yourself  happy with yourself.  You all know what lines you have to cross get to that point where you will be happy with yourself and be closer to how you want to be. What lines you want to cross and which ones you wish you could cross are all up to you.  Do what you can to make yourself happy with how you are. 

Thanks for stopping by to read my post.